Years ago, I began my career as a trainer in management skills, I had an experience which at the time cost me a lot to digest, but now, with the perspective that gives the time, I have to admit that was an enriching experience, that helped me grow professionally and personally.
Gave a course on communication to a group of secondary teachers, spoke to them of how to use language to connect emotionally with people in their working environment and the importance of being very precise with the words we usually use to convey what we think or what we describe; since words impact and depending on how we use can influence very positively or exert great effect destruction, both the person who utters as in who receives; finishing my explanation with the well-known phrase of NLP (NLP): “language is not innocent”. At that time one of the teachers of the subject of language, I was sitting at the back of the room, rose and a high and, according to my interpretation- any aggressive voice, rebuked me to stop talking nonsense because we all knew that "shit is always shit" and even though I tell them, describe words, do not change. At that time, I acknowledge that I left trapped by the mixture of emotions that had caused this sudden intervention on me and did not know how to react, I only managed to blush and tell him he appreciated the comment and that would take into account.
And so did, from that day, once the class ended and I recomposed the shock, I started my research with hard to find arguments, in that moment I missed, to reaffirm the phrase so much anger aroused in him: "Language is not innocent". And really today, I have to confess, that this discipline has become one of my professional passions.
Marshall B. Rosenberg, one of my favorite authors in the field of communication, this tells us precisely, explaining that there are various forms of communication that we contribuyen to Expro verbally Manera destructive of them with other. In all these ways I want to emphasize that today is the most violent of all for me: moralistic judgments.
We are so used to emit and receive judgments, we have already accepted that it is the right way to communicate between people. We have grown up in a society that states and criticizes those who act and think differently to how one would. The thought pattern is: “As I see life, is the correct way, why you are wrong and have to change to see life as I do and act in my opinion, that is correct ". And this thought we reflect on our conversations through phrases like: "You're selfish because you do not give me everything I ask you" "You're a bum because you do not work all that I work" or "Your problem is that you only think of yourself because you do not do what I want to do".
These Comments that, evidently, feel mugged people who receive, beyond achieve their purpose, all you get is build walls between people.
Since the no innocence of language, My conclusion at this point is that, if we want to help eliminate those walls and truly connect with people, we have used in our communication model positive, responsible language; and for this, the first step is to start looking at the other from the most absolute respect for who he is and understand that their values, beliefs, priorities and behaviors, still being different from ours have the same validity.
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Tags: emotional management