All communication has, besides verbal language, a second component: feelings that the issuer experiences during the process of communication and manifests through your body language.
A few weeks ago I attended a team meeting in a company in which the director of the team sat passively in a chair, as hidden, while there was a "second in command" to, your posture and gestures, filled the table. No start hear them speak, you could see clearly, through their non-verbal communication, who was really wielded influence on that computer. And is that physical posture that takes a person at a meeting is a strong indication of his mental attitude.
Metaphorically, we can consider that communication is a "song", whose "letter" is constituted by the content of the message conveyed through the verbal language (the explicit message) and whose "music" consists of the content of the message conveyed through nonverbal (the implicit message). The particularity is that the receiver can understand the "letter" better or worse, as the clarity with which to express the sender, but which almost certainly hear with precision is "Music": the sentiments expressed by the issuer.
Nonverbal language is innate part, in part imitative and partly learned. Generally, different areas of the body tend to work together to send the same message, although it is sometimes possible to send mixed messages, like when someone is telling a funny story; but the expression on his face is sad. This may be because, for example, that, while talking, is thinking of something else (maybe the next thing I will say), and the expression on his face corresponds to what you are thinking, not what he is saying, so perplexes his interlocutor.
At other times, messages are confusing because they may be transmitting several emotions at once, as anger, fear and anxiety, that often appear together.
The physical position adopted by a person in a meeting is a strong indication of his mental attitude.
The affective component we pass through the following means:
Tone of voice. It is one of our main means of expression. However, without sufficient practice, have less control over it than we think and makes us "sonar false" when, for example, we show kindness to a person you have any difficulty regarding. The tone of voice is especially relevant when we communicate by phone, because the voice is our only means of expression
The look. It is another important means of expressing our feelings. The eyes are connected directly to the brain and, while being aware, can lie in through ellos. It is said that free people look straight in the eye and prevent malicious look.
Our facial and body gestures. A grin says a lot; a twitching face, also. The nervous hand movements or how to sit are all messages that are transmitted continuously.
The communication problems are not born to be contacted inadequately, but we communicate too properly. What is conveyed more accurately is not what is said, but it feels. This would not cause difficulties if we were always aware of our feelings. The problem arises because often we do not know.
Communication is more-much more-than a process of information. This is, also, an interpersonal process. Somewhat, we can say that communicate actually when we meet another person. And when two people meet, are not physically present only the one for the other, but they are also emotionally and spiritually. Namely, when both accept each other. Without mutual acceptance, we can hardly talk about communication in a deeper sense.
Angel Martinez Marcos
Executive Coach & Managing Partner