There are two possible attitudes towards life and work. One is the victim, and the other is responsible or protagonist. Surely we've all been in our lives for both attitudes, and if we analyze calmly what gave us each, victimhood know that only brings negativity, pessimism, weakness and prevents us meet the challenges we have and solve them. Conversely, responsibility gives us strength, motivation, positive energy, and it makes us act and mobilize for change.
It is important to differentiate between being a victim and feel a victim. People affected by the terrorist attack in Brussels son, objectively, bombing victims. However, You can choose between feeling as victims or responsible. And that choice can make your life. Irene Villa, for example, He has always said he does not feel a victim of terrorism, although yes was the victim of a terrible attack by ETA.
But how do I detect? How do we know we are entering a victimizing attitude and reactive? Its not that easy, because we are experts at finding reasons and excuses to justify our pessimism or negativity. On the other hand, the only way we have to change harmful behavior or attitude is becoming aware of such behavior. If we are not aware, it is impossible to modify it. To facilitate this awareness, then I expound the 4 typical behaviors of the attitude of victim:
- We focus on the problem and in the past. We entered a vicious circle in which we return to the problem and the past, rather than focus all our energy on the solution and in the future. We get stuck at this point because we think we should analyze and re-analyze the problem, the causes, The origin. But the truth is that there is usually a very productive work, because it creates resentment, rage and lock. It prevents us from advancing and we can lose valuable time, necessary to find the solution.
- We shift the responsibility for the situation outside of us. In the state victimista, we are right and he is wrong is the other. And so, We insist again and again on the grounds that they are others (my boss, Company, government, etc.) who must change their behavior or attitude. This attitude is very comfortable, but it leads to a dead end. However, we can always do something, there is always room for change or improve. Therefore, We must ask powerful questions as: “What responsibility do I have in this matter? What should I change my behavior or attitude? What can I do?” These questions lead us on the right path, the responsibility.
- We criticize and prosecute others. A person who criticizes, and does nothing to judge others is in a state of victim. When we judge and criticize, We avoid putting the focus on what we're doing wrong, or that in which we were wrong. Criticizing and judging others we will progressively poisoning, because human beings have a curious habit of believing ourselves our own lies. And these lies in us generate more anger and resentment. All this leads to the fourth point.
- We believe the world is against us. When we do not have to change or correct any of our behavior, and also we believe that others do need to change or correct their behavior or attitudes, and therefore, They are deserving of our criticism and judgments, little by little we are entering a state of despair. For others, Of course, They are unwilling to change because we say. The rage we feel we extend, without realizing, other people and situations, distorting reality to schizophrenics limits that lead us to believe that we are the victims of the world, and everyone wants to hurt us. Is our war against the world, obviously, always lose. Already said very lucidly Czech writer Franz Kafka: “In your struggle against the world, ponte side the rest of the world”.
Deeply, and paradoxically, victimhood is rooted in a deep egocentrism. We believe the navel of the world and therefore, we want others to behave according to our expectations, often too high or Utopian. Instead of making examination of our expectations, We charge against others, embittering our character, a veces para toda la vida.
In the business world, victimhood is widespread, As in the personal sphere. Many people expect others to solve their problems, and still they are waiting and waiting. This behavior procrastinating and postponing decisions and actions is also something characteristic of victims. No actúan, sólo se quejan y critican.
Espero que a partir de ahora, pongas mucha atención en estos 4 comportamientos típicos del victimismo, con el fin de detectarlos cuando aparezcan, y poder así al menos elegir. Elegir hasta cuando quieres mantenerte en ese estado, elegir en qué momento cambiar la energía y ponerte en marcha para solucionar las cosas. Elegir vivir con plenitud, y trabajar con motivación y dando lo mejor de ti, que es mucho. Al final, la vida es muy corta para perderla con actitudes absurdas como el victimismo.
If you are interested in improve the commitment and responsibility of the employees of your company, call us at 912 975 465 or send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. We will be happy to assist you and offer you the best solution to your needs.