The department led by one of the customers who have recently hired us was becoming increasingly behind in the multinational which owns. His team was nervous and, family, concerned to see increasingly distant and moody. Rediscovering the coaching process, I commented that it was hard to understand why, when he had not had one in charge, I had always complied with the objectives; while, conversely, when finally available a team of competent people, that the work could not come out on time and that would match the requirements of the company. His inability to enlist the help of his team was what was really holding back to his apartment; because they could not get their partners to convey what I wanted from them and motivate them to take him out.
After this important awareness, dedicated several sessions to explore issues that help him discover where he was "treading water" emotional intelligence in order to begin the path to strengthening.
We are emotional beings and emotions They are an essential part of ourselves, so we can not ignore. Conversely, themselves know apropiadamente manejarlas, will be to us a guide that we provide a lot of information, both ourselves and our environment. However, in day to day, not always pay enough attention to emotions: neither ours nor those of the people around us. We prefer to be dragged by them to the point of leaving to take our decisions, direct our actions and control our lives.
In the process of being more emotionally intelligent, the first step is identify and accept the emotions we experience every moment as their own. If the project onto others and blame on others how we are feeling, we are losing control and letting them lead by. Tagged emotion seans that we are paying "attention". This will help us focus on it deliberately and exclusively, especially if it is not desired. Studies about my own experience and find that this observation technique, per se, causes and regulation of emotion and behavior change: a kind of self-regulating process.
But perhaps more importantly to experience emotions, is aware that all emotion appears to cover an emotional need we, this survival either, recognition or respect, and therefore gives us valuable information about ourselves and our interpretation of the events that we perceive. Hence the next step to manage the emotions we experience on a day to day is decrypt the message they are sending us. Experiencing curious about the message they send us our emotions allows us to learn a lot about ourselves and how we perceive what happens to us: Am I interpreting that my team does not respect me? Am I worrying about something that will likely never happen? Did I put too many expectations on that person? Am I asking too much?
Feel this curiosity helps us master emotion and marks the path we follow to put action and solve the challenge, then, we ourselves .
Until you go slowly taking control of the situation, to stop an emotion in a given moment we can use what we call "emotional patches": respiration, the change of body or the use of positive thoughts.
To take this control completely, the last step is to start down the path of self-knowledge and personal change. Only this path I get rid of addiction to the negative emotions and achieve, sustainably, the necessary balance to positively influence ourselves and to be a charismatic leader to influence people around us.
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Managing Partner Execoach